In the last two decades, the sexualization of our culture has grown exponentially. Never before in the history of the world has so much explicit material been available to so many people at the same time. The devil has moved the porn store from the dark side of town directly to your cell phone. When it comes to corrupting the church of Jesus Christ, the enemy will stop at nothing.
Martin Luther is believed to have said that there are three conversions of a man: his heart, his mind, and his purse. I think he had a good understanding of the complexity the role money plays in a person’s life.
One universal, dynamic malady affects many of us, regardless of where we live on this vast planet we call Earth. Though this malady inflicts untold damage upon our lives and the lives of those we love, it often goes undetected.
The first myth about forgiveness is that the person who has sinned against you has to be present to forgive them. Some people don’t believe they can forgive someone unless they are right in front of them. I know personally most of the many people I have forgiven in my life were not present when I forgave them, and yet I was able to forgive them anyway.
Friends are probably one of the greatest factors in being successful during a singleness. It’s quite normal—and has been repeatedly researched—that in this stage of life the primary influences in your decision-making process are your friends. At this point mom, dad, and church take a back seat to your friends.
Sometimes people allow themselves to become objects in order to survive emotionally. As an object, they can project anything they want to those around them in an attempt to be accepted and survive. As an object, you will have struggles connecting emotionally, especially in romantic relationships. As an object, you will also struggle with being authentic.
Gook is sins, mistakes, willfully and unknowingly hurting each other, that all of us have. Since not one of us is sinless, everyone is going to have to deal with the issue of sin, mistakes, otherwise known as gook. There is another way to live. I call it the forgiveness lifestyle. It will cost you some time and effort but down the road you can save 100s of hours in pain or conflict. This forgiveness lifestyle helps you fully live.
There are some lies lust likes to use more than others. One of the top five is, “You can handle this by yourself.” Once you believe this lie, all hope of getting better is gone.
When counseling couples for more than 30 years, you learn quite a bit. Over the years of counseling, I began to see on a fairly regular basis the client who almost addictively avoided intimacy. Over time I began to put a cluster of symptoms together and in our field of recovery it became known as intimacy anorexia.
As a young Christian man or woman, the enemy has launched a full sexual battle in order to trip you up so that you might fall causing you to feel guilt and shame. The shame you experience is designed to prevent you from reaching the destiny God has designed for you. Here, we see the enemy’s goal: to keep you from God’s design for you and to prevent your happiness both on earth and in eternity.
The inheritance of Israel, the Promised Land, was going to be a cooperation between the God of Heaven and the Israelites’ sweat and sacrifice. As Americans we see inheritance as our dad and/or mom working really hard, saving a bunch of money and giving it to us at their death. We did nothing for it; we just inherit or receive it.
Though marriage can be wonderful, it can at the same time have inevitably conflict. Conflict is a precursor to change and growth toward becoming one flesh. Conflict is a part of your marriage progressing toward becoming a fully functioning trinity.
Addictions can involve both substances (alcohol, drugs, sugar, carbohydrates, caffeine, and others) and processes (gambling, relationships, love, work, sex, and more). In these short descriptions, I will not be able fully detail your particular addiction. That’s one of the limitations of writing a general addiction article. If you find the biological aspects of addiction interesting, there are many books that focus on specific addictions that you may find helpful.
1. “As long as I don’t…”
Biblical Principle Two: Know Where the Healing is
In a book I wrote several years ago called 101 Freedom Exercises: A Christian Guide for Sexual Addiction Recovery, I outline several exercises to help men get and stay free from lust. The following is a summarization of some of these exercises, as well as a few more I have learned along the way.
Think about the relationship you have had with worthlessness and the voice it has had in your life. This relationship may have been decades in the making. You ran to worthless throughout your life and found worthless was always there for you. Worthless would give you the answer to try harder or the excuse not to try at all. Worthless has been your long-term friend and a well-established relationship for you.
#1 Prayer
In Western culture we have a real commitment to our rights. We want to express our right to do good, evil, or just be ourselves. Lust says that you have the right to lust, but I want to give you a tip on this: You have the “right” never to lust.
All of us who are Christians have a God-given purpose. Many of us are familiar with the motto “God has a plan for your life.” Yet how many believe and behave with this in mind? How many Christians believe their job, business, gifting or parenting ability is really significant to God?
Being a lover is part of your history prior to marrying the love of your life. Being a lover wasn’t forced on you, taught to you, or something you studied. Rather, being a lover was part of who you are. We were all lovers to some degree or another prior to marriage. For most of us, we were lovers to more than one person. When I use the term “lover,” I’m not in any manner eluding it to sex or sexuality. I mean you were giving of yourself in some or several ways toward another that symbolized or meant “I love you, the way you want to be loved.”
In over 30 years of counseling, I have developed and used some tools in my practice to help my clients find healing in relationships and past hurts. In this article, I want to tell you about the exercise I like to call “Cleansing the temple.”
I count myself very fortunate to be able to do what I do. Day after day, people open up their lives, hearts and processes to me. I have learned volumes from my clients. I’ve even learned the reasons why people cheat.