People who generally externalize their feelings share a certain set of characteristics. This cluster of characteristics, seen here and there without identification, could appear random or even to be an aspect of these people’s personalities. However, when you see this cluster identifiably together, you are most likely dealing with or are in a relationship with an externalizer.
Anger can be a very important issue to address so that you can live a full life. As a counselor I know this anger piece will have to be addressed first before some of you can truly forgive. I know so many Christians go to counselors with abuse, trauma, and all kinds of wounding from others. They are quickly told to forgive without giving instructions on how to heal the wound. Years later they are still acting wounded but they are confused because they forgave the person.
Intimacy Anorexia a popular term coined by Douglas Weiss Ph.D. it is the active withholding of emotional, spiritual, and/or sexual intimacy from the spouse. If you’ve been married to an Intimacy Anorexic for any length of time, you have most likely experienced many painful feelings. You may regularly feel unloved, disconnected from, misunderstood, and even blamed or criticized. Although you are married, you feel alone much of the time - married and alone. These feelings are absolutely legitimate, and your experience is universal: across all ages, religions, economic levels and cultures, those wed to Intimacy Anorexics have had similar experiences.
Worthlessness is a nagging old voice the enemy of your soul has taunted you with for many years. However, this enemy uses “worthless” to interpret events from your life. I remember being in my dorm room in Bible college, having gotten radically saved just a few weeks prior to admission. That “I’m not worthy” voice began to talk to me. The Lord spoke to me loud and clear and asked me one simple question that changed my life. “Who are you going to believe, them or Me?”
Men and women have been medicating their pain and bad choices throughout time. God always desires for us to leave our addictions to follow him into spiritual adulthood. He is always willing to empower and enable us to do so when we are teachable. I want to walk you through a well-known Bible story that outlines the process of addiction step-by-step.
Recovering from an addiction will be one of the hardest undertakings in an addict's life. In the midst of his addiction, the typical addict has clocked in hundreds, and sometimes thousands, of hours of repetitive, addictive conditioning. Many addicts rely heavily upon their acting out, as a primary coping mechanism before beginning the journey of recovery.
When you get married, intuitively you sign up to have fun. You know there will be some responsibility, but really you think there will also be some fun involved. After all, it took you all these years to find your ultimate playmate, your spouse!
This may or may not come as a surprise to you, but so many people blame God for their out of control behavior. How many of you have seen the T-shirts “born to shop” or “born for chocolate?” I know we all laugh, but unfortunately for some, we actually believe in our hearts that somehow God himself has some responsibility for the out of control areas of our life.
As a counselor, I have helped many people grieve many different events or realities in their lives. In grief counseling, the model for grief comes from Kübler Ross who studied people dying. She identified the grief stage as: shock, denial, anger, bargaining, sadness, and acceptance.
It is time to get emotionally stronger! This exercise is going to take you to another level of experiencing your emotions and expanding your ability to feel any emotion you choose. Remember, emotions are not cognitions or thoughts. Emotions are an entirely different way through which we experience, process, and influence our environment and relationships.
Revelation 2:20 introduces the “woman Jezebel.” The Lord is using a name from the Old Testament to describe this woman’s character. The original Jezebel was introduced in the book of 1 Kings as the wife of King Ahab. She had profound influence and used it for evil. She quickly became the most feared person in Israel. The Bible records several incidents that made her infamous for evil deeds ranging from false accusations to mass murder to assassination to forgery. The name Jezebel is casually used as a woman who cheats, is immoral or controlling. She derived her power from her sexuality; she got all dolled up for Jehu even though he killed her husband, King Ahab and used it to dominate, control, manipulate, and murder. From that one sin came all the other evils that plagued Israel during her reign. One result of her seduction was the massacre of the prophets of the Lord. She even struck fear into Elijah’s heart, one of the most powerful prophets ever to walk the earth. In…
Marriage being a trinity between God, man, and woman is what separates a Christian definition of marriage from every version or perversion of marriage any culture or individual can decide upon.
Legend has it that there was a day not so long ago when men were more sexually pure. There was a day when a man gave his word on his wedding day to forsake all others, and he did exactly what he said he would do. He stayed married and faithful to the wife God gave to him to cherish. In that day, it was expected that men would keep their word to their wives and to others. A man was as good as his word, as the stories say.
One of the top five lies that lust likes to use is, “You can handle this by yourself.” Once you believe this lie, all hope of you getting better is gone.
For the most part, my career has been dedicated to helping addicts get sober and become amazing emotional, spiritual, and moral adults. I see the miracle of recovery from addiction every week.
I’m going to get a little theological for a moment to explain where your healing and freedom is and why. I want to share with you a revelation that helped me make sense of why I needed to confess to another person to be made free. This is why “just Jesus and I” wasn’t working, and why I couldn’t get free earlier in my life.
I have counseled with many men over the years who have doubled or more than doubled their income shortly after cleaning up the area of sexuality in their lives.
The phrase “not possible” is by far the most paralyzing lie lust has in its arsenal. The lie, “it’s not possible to be lust-free” is quite simple, but its impact can have decades of results.
Everyone has their own journey down the river of growth and change. Many of us have rapids to overcome--otherwise known as behaviors we just can’t seem to get control over. For some of you the behavior may be rage, for others it’s complacency, apathy or even addictions to work, food or exercise.
Maintaining sexual success while you build whatever kingdom you are trying to build is the cornerstone. A sexually healthy brain is critical.
Since founded, Heart to Heart Counseling Center has always maintained a holistic approach of treating clients.Studies show that 80 percent of women suffer from hormonal imbalances. Some women live with these imbalances without even realizing it; in fact, 70 percent are unaware of conditions that may have manifested due to hormonal irregularities. For men, studies indicate that hormone levels fall nearly one percent each year after they reach 30 years old. The human body produces hundreds of hormones, but the following four of them have a direct influence on brain health/mental health:
Reported affairs for ministry and local church leaders appear at almost epidemic levels. We all see the newspapers and other news media that seem to salivate at another allegation of an affair in the body of Christ. I, for one, would like us to do as much as possible to affair-proof the marriages of our Christian leaders as well as the members of our churches. I want you to take these ideas and put them into action (James 1:22) to inoculate your marriage from an affair and truly enjoy your marriage to the fullest.
John is 40 years old and has been married for more than 12 years and has 2 children. He has been fortunate to have climbed a corporate ladder and is making more than $200K a year.