Reported affairs for ministry and local church leaders appear at almost epidemic levels.  We all see the newspapers and other news media that seem to salivate at another allegation of an affair in the body of Christ. I, for one, would like us to do as much as possible to affair-proof the marriages of our Christian leaders as well as the members of our churches. I want you to take these ideas and put them into action (James 1:22) to inoculate your marriage from an affair and truly enjoy your marriage to the fullest.

1. Prayer

Honestly, I am amazed at how few Christian couples pray together. A Christian marriage is not just between a man and woman; it is between God, a man and a woman.  God is a real person within our marriages.  Are we engaging Him or ignoring Him?  If we try to build a marriage without God we could be laboring in vain (Psalm 127:1).  We all want the absolute best marriage possible.  Without prayer it is impossible to have the marriage God intended for us to taste and enjoy for a lifetime.

2.  Feelings    

Most of you have not had much preparation in the area of emotional health and being able to identify and communicate your feelings to your spouse.  In this feelings exercise, you would identify a feeling and put it in this kind of structure.  “I feel _______ when ________.  I first remember feeling _______ when __________.” While doing this exercise, you should, 1) use no examples about each other, 2) maintain eye contact, and 3) offer no feedback when you do this exercise.  Just sharing two feelings a day keeps you feeling like your heart has a safe place with your spouse.  This exercise might seem more difficult the first few times but push through so you have the skill to really share your heart consistently with your spouse.

3.  Praise        

All of us need to hear praise once in a while.  We all like to hear what a good job we’ve done or “that was a great idea, you’re amazing!”  Very often the path to the alter of marriage is covered with praise.  We convinced our future spouse that they are so incredible that we want to explore and praise them all the days of their life.  Then whammo! We’re married and kids, dog, homework, house chores, and mortgages start encroaching into our lives.

So often couples can fall out of praise toward each other and this usually happens way before the famous “falling out of love” lie begins.  Think honestly about this over the last month or so.  How often have you given your spouse a real compliment--not just for what they do, but also for who they are to you?

A soul in need of praise is set up to look elsewhere to be affirmed.  So if it’s been a while, go get your spouse right now and look them right in the eye and tell them how much you appreciate them.  A daily diet of praise is like giving your marriage a vitamin.  The stronger your relational immunity is, the more affair-proof you both can be.

4.  Dating       

Dating is critical to affair-proofing your marriage.  If your marriage is no fun and all work, anything can become a temptation. Fun is supposed to be a regular part of a Godly marriage.  As I look over the twenty-one years of our marriage, our dating is definitely a highlight.

I can hear some of you saying, “I can’t afford a date.” That’s no excuse. Find another couple with similar financial circumstances, with children and rotate so one time you watch their children and they date and the next time you get to go on a date and they watch your children.

Seriously, if you don’t date, you are creating a marriage without a stress valve.  In this no-fun situation you will argue more, be less creative parents and not be a whole lot of fun to be around and hence you will need a counselor.

5.  Church       

The local church is a great antidote for adultery.  I love hearing my pastor preach and actively live his marital values.  The local church provides spiritual fun and fellowship as well as opportunities to serve others.  Most churches have couple’s Sunday school classes, small groups, mentor couples or other ways to strengthen your marriage.

Marriage is a gift from God.  It’s a gift that takes work and is worthy of protecting.  The ideas here are proactive.  If you can proactively pray, share your heart, nurture each other, seek the Lord, don’t have secrets and reach out then you are being proactive to protect your marriage.