Plan of Action

Are You Living Married and Alone?

Intimacy Anorexia a popular term coined by Douglas Weiss Ph.D. it is the active withholding of emotional, spiritual, and/or sexual intimacy from the spouse. If you’ve been married to an Intimacy Anorexic for any length of time, you have most likely experienced many painful feelings. You may regularly feel unloved, disconnected from, misunderstood, and even blamed or criticized. Although you are married, you feel alone much of the time - married and alone. These feelings are absolutely legitimate, and your experience is universal: across all ages, religions, economic levels and cultures, those wed to Intimacy Anorexics have had similar experiences.

Are the lies of “worthlessness” nagging your soul?

Worthlessness is a nagging old voice the enemy of your soul has taunted you with for many years. However, this enemy uses “worthless” to interpret events from your life. I remember being in my dorm room in Bible college, having gotten radically saved just a few weeks prior to admission. That “I’m not worthy” voice began to talk to me. The Lord spoke to me loud and clear and asked me one simple question that changed my life. “Who are you going to believe, them or Me?”

A Bible Story of Restoration From Addiction

Men and women have been medicating their pain and bad choices throughout time. God always desires for us to leave our addictions to follow him into spiritual adulthood. He is always willing to empower and enable us to do so when we are teachable. I want to walk you through a well-known Bible story that outlines the process of addiction step-by-step.

Latest Videos

Betrayal Trauma Symptoms: How Betrayal Impacts Your Mind, Body, and Soul
Sexual Trauma and Abuse: Understanding What Should’ve Never Happened
Your First Sexual Experience Shapes You More Than You Think | Dr. Doug Weiss
Why Porn Secretly Hurts Your Wife and Family More Than You Realize

Quick Tips

Self Motivated

Addicts of all kinds are self motivated. If addicts want to do something, they don’t need goading to get something done, they just do it. One of the ways I can determine if an intimacy anorexic is in recovery is by following their creativity. Are they being creative when their schedule changes so that they can get the 3 dailies done? Are they keeping their sexual agreement and calling their group members or is their creativity being used for excuse making and avoiding responsibility to get sober by intentionally creating pain for their spouse? You may have heard the phrase, “follow the money” with addicts and you’ll know the truth. For intimacy anorexics it’s, “follow the creativity” and you’ll know the truth.

"Well Done"

When you hear the words “well done,” what is the first thing that pops into your head? This tip is about the “well done” every believer wants to hear at the end of their life.

Punishing Through Sex Strategies

Anorexics have many strategies to avoid intimacy and sexuality. For some anorexics, male or female, they use the sexual encounter itself to accomplish avoidance and intentionally give pain to their spouse. If you are punishing or pushing away your spouse through sex, then you can clearly see this as an anorexic strategy to give pain, so you can be avoidant.

Talking about Boundaries

Talking about boundaries with someone else can be uncomfortable. Most people want to be liked by everybody. An addict, whether knowingly or unknowingly, surrounds themselves many times with other addicts. This makes it difficult as you decide whom you should not see during early recovery. You may ask, Do I have to give up all my friends? Hopefully, not all your friends are linked to your addiction, although, some may not be in your best interest to spend time with. You can refer to your earlier start at this on the exercise "Pray For Those Who Tempt Us."

Connecting after Sex

The comments or dialogue is what happens to the anorexic after connected sex. The spouses state that the anorexic “gets cold,” “leaves me physically or emotionally,” “gets angry,” “gets very distant,” “critical” or “picks a fight the next day.”

Clean Class

Clean Class Five
- As a Christian man your sex organ has three owners:
Clean Class Four
Dr. Doug Weiss, professional psychologist and president of AASAT, discusses in this 4th Session of our Clean Class the two ways Christians approach the problem of being clean or not and the two sided problem that can occur if we are not clean.
Clean Class Three
In this 3rd session of our Clean Class, Dr. Doug Weiss, professional psychologist and president of the AASAT group discusses how your sexuality affects you and those around you, the importance of staying clean from sex addiction and how to do so.
Clean Class- Day Two
Dr. Weiss talks about what it means to be a protector and the role of men to protect women. Staying clean from sex addiction. Marriage was God's final creation. When you are married, you are God's son in law. How do you think God would grade you as his son in law? What we love we protect, and what we protect we love. If you are protecting a sexual secret, then you are loving the behavior or the pornography and hurting the people you love.
Clean Class - Day One
In this session I want you to prayerfully consider your boundaries around:

Recovery for Everyone

Fear
Unmanageable
Powerless
Trust

New Recovery Resources

Cereset- We Help Your Brain Help You
Telephone Freedom and Intimacy Anorexia Groups
Am I A Sex Addict?
Counseling
Podcasts
Get Away
Douglas Weiss on 04/02/2021
Play
Serving Your Spouse
Douglas Weiss on 03/26/2021
Play
Cheerleader or Critic
Douglas Weiss on 03/19/2021
Play

APP Exclusive Bible Study

From Struggle to Victory: A Path to Freedom from Porn - Day Seven: Living in Victory
From Struggle to Victory: A Path to Freedom from Porn - Day Six: Finding Freedom through Forgiveness
From Struggle to Victory: A Path to Freedom from Porn - Day Five: Accountability
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