The women that God gives us to be our wives are amazing.  In most cases they are on our side.  They want their marriage and family to work out and last a lifetime.  They married us looking for the happily ever after.

In most cases, women respond well to truth, especially the early on truth.  If you are hiding a secret porn life, it will be painful for her, but not nearly as painful as after your getting involved with another woman, or other behaviors involving other people.

No marriage is perfect.  Talking to your wife about issues in the marriage is healthy and a sign you also want the marriage to work.  If you run into issues bigger than the two of you can handle, seek out a mentor couple, a pastor, or a Christian counselor.

Often the presence of another person can help clarify the issues that are currently on the table, and it also offers more minds to create solutions.  Having others involved can have an element of accountability, that "all by itself" can't offer, and can change the dynamics in a positive way to solve the issues at hand in a marriage.