Dewayne was never honest with anyone about his sexual past until he came to my office.  He was fifty years old before he disclosed about his cheating on girlfriends, pornography and masturbation.  Being honest about your sexual past can bring healing to that past.  Also, when you review your sexual past, you learn cycles that can help you to break patterns in your life now.

Dewayne in the past had a good girl, and sexual girl or fantasy girl in his life.  Had Dewayne known about this pattern and stopped the porn and fantasy girl, then it’s possible he could have been more satisfied in his marriage, because he would not have been comparing his wife unfairly to others, or gluing sexually to twenty-year old bodies as a fifty year old Christian man.

Dewayne’s dishonesty about his past kept it unhealed. He did not benefit from learning from his past, but put himself in a position to duplicate his past with Carol.  Dewayne was also not honest about his present.

Dewayne had no honesty about his present pornography usage or flirting with women online.  This set him up to justify inappropriate relationships and conversations with women.  He was also not honest about the feelings and the positive charge he received from talking to these women online.

Dewayne also wasn’t honest about how he was feeling towards his wife.  He was ungrateful in his marriage for the godly woman he had as a wife.  He was focusing on what he saw as her weaknesses.  He wasn’t honest with another man about these feelings.  Had he talked to another guy, he could have received support and encouragement to work on himself, his attitude, or go to counseling.

Being honest is really important, if you want to avoid going or staying on the road to trouble.  Honesty can get you off this highway, or at least keep you from ever getting on this highway to begin with.