Speaking kind words to your spouse continually is a simple but very powerful task. Notice the little and large things your spouse does for you. Make kind comments to your spouse in front of your friends and children. Always thank them when they are serving you in some manner. If you really want to make your point clear, thank them for being kind; “Thank you, honey, for getting the butter; that was kind of you,” can highlight their kindness. This is better than, “thanks honey.” Although both are adequate, the first comment crystallizes to your spouse that you actually see their acts of kindness. They will eventually believe what you tell them--that they are kind.