Kindness is something we can do intentionally. Much of what we do in life can be done intentionally. Imagine if your spouse woke up in the morning and prayed, “Lord, help me to be kind to my spouse. Give me eyes to see Your opportunity to plant kindness today. I want my spouse to taste Your fruit of kindness today through me.”

Then throughout the day your spouse brings you your favorite beverage, holds your hand, responds to you kindly and, more softly than normal, shows you he or she really cares about what you say and do. He or she offers to take the children to their events and encourages you to just relax. Before he or she leaves with the children, the dishes and kitchen are cleaned so you are not left at home with housework to do. Can you imagine a day like that?

It might feel to you as though you were married to Jesus. What a life! That is the kind of kindness you can intentionally give to your spouse every day. For example, there is one act of intentional kindness that I regularly advise the husbands I counsel to give to their wives. I suggest the same to you. Your wife needs a regular time to relax or play, a time when she does not have to be a mom, a wife, a cook, the clean-up crew, and the leader of bedtime rituals. You can make it possible for her to be away from the home at least one night a week, a time just for her, however she chooses to spend it. This is an intentional act of kindness your wife will greatly appreciate.

If you are a woman, you can plan an intentional act of kindness for your husband, one based on his interests.

Some spouses are extremely gifted in the area of cooking. When they cook, their presentations are exceptional, the fragrances are inviting, the textures and temperatures are varied, and the sauces are exquisite. Maybe this describes you. But in today’s busy lifestyles, perhaps you don’t use that gift very often, settling instead for hurried meals that are easy to prepare. For you, an act of intentional kindness could be scheduling a specific time to prepare a gourmet meal for your family. Maybe you can select one day a week to cook up a storm. You are making a decision to express intentional kindness through your gift of cooking.

I encourage you to plan these intentional acts of kindness. Take a moment and think of at least five ways you can be intentionally kind.