Sometimes kindness is spoken more loudly by a touch than by any words you speak. Holding your spouse’s hand gently can express volumes of kindness. A gentle caress or light back-scratching can be felt as a kind affirmation of your spouse. A foot or back rub in private can really send a message of kindness toward your spouse.

Let me clarify that this is touch for the express purpose of communicating kindness. This is not a touch motivated by or with any hint of sexuality. That kind of touch is called foreplay. I think we all know the difference between just stroking your spouse’s hair and stroking him or her in an erotic fashion.

When you are expressing kindness with your touch, stay away from his or her sexual areas. Keep your heart pure, and don’t be motivated to receive. Don’t have the attitude “I’ll scratch your back, and you scratch mine.” A touch of kindness is motivated purely to give, not to receive.

I am not in any way saying that the erotic touch or even a touch motivated for some reciprocation is wrong or sinful. That type of touching is wonderful and very much to be enjoyed. But in this section we are talking about the touch of kindness.

Sowing this type of unselfish, gentle, soft, soothing touch is a great resource for planting kindness into your spouse’s heart. Some people might deflect or discount your verbal comments of kindness. Touch is rarely rejected.

Think for a moment about couples you have observed in church. When a husband or wife is touching or scratching the back of his spouse, have you ever seen the spouse jerk away or refuse this touch? Probably not. More often than not, I have seen the spouse move closer into this touch of kindness.

Stop for a moment and think about a kind touch you have received from your spouse. Where were you? How did you feel? You can give that feeling to your spouse at will because you possess the power of kindness. The power of kindness momentarily removes the entire world and its cares from your life, allowing you to drink in pure love from your spouse.

Sowing the kindness of touch is great fun. I encourage you to plant the seed of a kind touch regularly and intentionally upon your spouse. Remember that kindness is a seed that will grow.