Nurturing another individual’s soul is an effortless gift for some. They glide through their daily activities encouraging the hearts of people they meet all day long. But extracting a kind word from others requires an act of Congress.

I liken the soul of a person to a sponge inside the body. This sponge needs regular watering (or praise) to stay soft and alive. If a spouse decides, for whatever reason, to withhold that praise, the sponge begins to dry out. Over the years and decades if the sponge is not nurtured, that person will become brittle inside. The sponge gets hard and seems to break easily. This will show up in sarcasm, anger, bitterness, rigidity and a lesser ability to give love to the spouse who is withholding the nurturing.

What is nurturing? It is the skill to place praise and affirmation into another person’s heart. In the case of a marriage, nurturing is the ability to put that praise and affirmation into the heart of your spouse.

Many of us intuitively understand our responsibility to nurture when it comes to our children. “I love you!” “Great job!” “You’re really smart, creative, handsome or beautiful!” The accolades just seem to roll from our hearts and mouths. Rarely does a day go by when my two children don’t receive numerous nurturing comments from Dad and Mom. We love to see their little faces light up as we nurture them, clap for them and praise them.

Many of us accept the nurturing of our children as part of our God-given role in their lives. We want ours to be the primary nurturing voices in their lives. We know that if we build them up they become healthier psychologically and more resilient in the face of life’s many challenges as they mature.