Promise #2 

Here I will go two directions.

I say to the intimacy anorexic: “If I put a gun to your head and say, ‘Tell me how your spouse will feel loved.’ What would you say.”

They could tell me 5 things in less than a minute. Almost without fail, this is the case.

Then I ask how often they do these things they mentioned without being asked or as a way out of the doghouse?

(Because intimacy anorexics know how to use these techniques as a way to get out of trouble.)

You see, they know how to love their spouse, they just aren’t doing it.  This realization that they know what to do and aren’t doing it starts to sink in at this point.

The second tactic would be to ask, “What is your spouse’s love language?”

The five love languages are:

1.Acts of service

2.Gifts

3.Touch

4.Praise

5.Quality Time

When their spouse’s love language is revealed, I ask, “How often do you actively do these without prompting or as a way out of the dog house?”

Remember to believe behavior.

I then move on to the next promise, which is to honor your spouse.