One of the most famous teachings of Jesus about serving is taught in several scriptures: Matthew 20:26, 23:11-12, and; Mark 9:35, 10:43-44. In Matthew 20 (which we will explore more deeply in the pages ahead) we find a story of a mother of two disciples making a request of Jesus that he put her sons in a place of honor and esteem above the other disciples, specifically at His right and left in His kingdom. As the story proceeds, Jesus makes this famous statement in verses 26 and 27 (NIV): “Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave.” It is interesting that He did not rebuke the idea of someone wanting to be great. He just shifted the idea of the process.

You come to marriage from a vastly different place when you accept the calling to serve your spouse rather than to rule them. You also experience two very different outcomes. A servant will become great in the eyes of those he or she serves. A less than positive-hearted person will desire to be seen as great without the service record required to actually be seen that way.