Intimacy anorexics are addicted to withholding and not giving of themselves. They strategize to stay disconnected. Often, they are not aware of this until it’s pointed out to them by someone on the outside. However, it is intentional behavior, creating or maintaining distance. So, when an intimacy anorexic is engaged in avoidant behaviors or maintaining avoidance, they are in the middle of “drinking” in their addiction, often oblivious to the pain they are causing themselves or their spouse.