This roadblock to intimacy is one not as widely thought of as the abuse roadblock, but it can definitely affect your marriage at a very deep level. If you’re addicted to anything— alcohol, drugs, sex, pornography, food, gambling, entertainment, social media, work, ministry and so on— it robs you of emotional, spiritual, and moral development. I’ve worked with thousands of addicts in my center and this is so true.

Regardless of age—thirty, forty, fifty, sixty, or any other—the addicted person will reason and emote like a 13- to 15-year-old. He or she faces great challenges when trying to define a clear sense of right or wrong, or in taking responsibility for his or her behavior. He or she lives in a fantasy, a world in which an individual can do as he or she pleases, without any consequences.

All addictions negatively affect marriage to some degree. I can’t tell you how many of my addicted clients have gone into recovery, and even a month in, began having the best marriage of their lives. They were able to move from an immature, object-function-type of a relationship into a mature, connected, relationship with their spouse.