Blaming is important to the survival of the entity of intimacy anorexia.  Blaming is the insider game.  The anorexic really believes that circumstance, their spouse’s abuse (real or imaginary), family of origin issues or personality is to blame for the lack of intimacy, criticism or sexual disinterest.

The anorexic, after all, is wonderful and all the other people in their world agree who they treat respectfully and thoughtfully.  It’s only their spouse that has the problem, even if this is spouse number three, having the same problems as the last two.

Blaming fuels anorexia like denial does any addiction.  It allows the anorexic not to take responsibility for the pain of others or the pain of seeing their own flaws or take any responsibility to change.  For that reason, I recommend you write a thank you and goodbye letter to blaming.