All human beings can and are selfish at times. This is a part of all of us, in that, we are a flawed but loved humanity. This selfishness is part of the overall anorexic entity to protect their heart and justify many behaviors that pull away from or push the spouse away.

Intimacy anorexia is the over volunteering, over commitment to extended family and friends, to exercise, to do sports, to be entitled at the deepest level to do whatever you want, to say whatever you want to say because you’re angry and selfish. This includes intentionally creating pain for your spouse for “a really good reason,” and taking care of yourself or keeping some commitment over and above that of your spouse.

Selfishness needs to be said goodbye to so you can become sober. Although the anorexic, like all humans, will always have a streak of this, it’s important to take this brick out of the wall of anorexia, so that the choice of unselfishness and giving your heart to your spouse can be made.