It’s important to be clear about what you're aiming to accomplish during sex as a recovering intimacy anorexic. You're not just trying to go through the motions—like keeping your eyes open or making conversation. More importantly, you're learning to keep your heart open and to give from a place of genuine love and vulnerability.

Your goal is to move from disconnection to being fully present during sex, and then from presence to being open-hearted and nurturing. This isn’t about checking a box or saying the “right” thing; it’s about truly offering yourself to your spouse. When both partners are emotionally open and giving to one another, that’s when sex becomes more than physical—it becomes a true expression of love. That’s what “making love” really means: a husband and wife who are grateful for each other, expressing that gratitude in the most intimate and meaningful way possible.