Initiating intimacy is part of healing.  Remember, the definition of intimacy anorexia is active withholding, so sobriety is actively initiating connection and intimacy, of which the 3 dailies are a part of.  These exercises are to be done daily, regardless of how much you like your spouse, or how much he/she likes you.  This recovery exercise is like the cast on the broken bone: it needs to stay on so you can heal from your addiction to withholding.  These are to be done with your heart, not just checking off the box. Intentional sabotaging would be to withhold your heart and claim you are staying sober, but not really investing yourself in these exercises. Since the 3 dailies are important toward demonstrating your intimacy anorexia sobriety, you will need a consequence for relapsing or not initiating.  This way, if you withhold, you’re the one who gets the pain, not your spouse.  If you withhold the 3 dailies, and you get pain through consequence, you change.  As it’s been up until now, if you starve your spouse of intimacy, she/he is in pain, not you.  This must change so that you can heal.