Intimacy is the ability for me to let you behold me, flaws and all.  I have heard some say intimacy is in-to-me-see. That’s clever and I think you get the point. The intimacy anorexic prefers to be regarded as altogether good.  Prior to recovery, the intimacy anorexic has great difficulty letting their spouse see their flawed self.  Interestingly, as intimacy anorexia progresses over time in a soul they become less able to see the positives in their spouse.  It’s as if they are (the intimacy anorexic) the good of humanity, and their spouse becomes the bad of humanity over time.

It is difficult to be intimate if one spouse is good and the other is bad.  Intimacy is: “I am flawed and loved and you are flawed and loved.  I let you see me, and you let me see you.”  That’s intimacy, and for most intimacy anorexics, they not only say no to this invitation to intimacy, they say, “NO WAY”.

Intimacy can be scary for anyone regardless of gender.  For the intimacy anorexic, intimacy can be described as terrifying before recovery.  Interestingly enough, intimacy is the only solution for an intimacy anorexic to recover.