Addicts of all kinds are self motivated.  If addicts want to do something, they don’t need goading to get something done, they just do it.  One of the ways I can determine if an intimacy anorexic is in recovery is by following their creativity. Are they being creative when their schedule changes so that they can get the 3 dailies done?  Are they keeping their sexual agreement and calling their group members or is their creativity being used for excuse making and avoiding responsibility to get sober by intentionally creating pain for their spouse?  You may have heard the phrase, “follow the money” with addicts and you’ll know the truth.  For intimacy anorexics it’s, “follow the creativity” and you’ll know the truth.