When Jesus washed His disciples’ feet, could you imagine Him saying: “Boys, line up!  I have to splash water on your disgusting feet to make a point.  I am doing this only because my Father wants me to do it.  Hurry!  Let’s get this done.”  In the Bible, not once do you see Jesus serving with a bad attitude.  I think this is because He embraced His calling to serve humanity.  Out of His acceptance, He had a good attitude in serving us humans.

Acceptance is a great attitude to have as a servant in a marriage.  Acceptance is, “I am here to serve you,” “I was created to serve you,” “serving you honors God, myself, you, and our future generations,” and, “I am a servant.”

When you get to this level of acceptance you are going to really enjoy your marriage.  You see, I am a servant before any other title I have earned or been given.  “This is your servant, how can I help you?”  This is what I want my children to learn from me in marriage.  This is the DNA I want in my family tree for generations.

It is the heart of God to have servant children serving one another.  When we accept this, the fight is over with man’s fleshly issues that arise in and harm marriages.

Acceptance of being a servant is a freeing attitude.  This attitude takes you into a lifestyle of humility and gratefulness in the process.  For me, it was a process to be a servant rather than just being helpful here and there.  I am a servant.  It is not what I do, it is who I am as I have embraced and accepted that I am a servant.  Another attitude of being a servant that I want to share with you is "Learner"

Learner

When I am given a task or challenge, I want to do a great job with it.  To do a great job—even if it is only a hobby—I have to learn and stay a learner.  If we want to become awesome servants to our spouses, we have to remain in a position of heart as learners of our spouses.  When I remain a learner I can be a servant to Lisa throughout our marriage.

Marriage brings changes over the years.  You move from apartment to house, to having children, to having children in school, to having kids in college, the children’s weddings, grandchildren, aging, and more.  Each stage reassures us that, as servants we will grow, learn, and adapt.  The person we serve also changes.  What they enjoyed as a young person (ice cream or vigorous exercise) might change as they age (salads and rest).

As a learner, you ask questions both about serving on the perimeter as well as serving the person.  As I ask my wife about her, I learn her.  I ask her for her perceptions about the perimeter because she sees things I do not see, and vice versa.  I keep learning.  If you have an attitude of a learner and maintain it, you are guaranteed to grow in your calling and ability to fulfill the calling to service.

As a Christian you have an endless supply of patience, kindness, goodness, and self-control flowing through your heart.  God has not called you to serve your spouse for decades without fully giving you what you need to fulfill your unique and glorious mission.

Remember; the mission you have already chosen is long, challenging, and full of joy, peace, ups and downs, and unpredictable events unique to your marriage and family.

You are not alone on your magnificent quest.  You have God, the Word of God, an amazing spouse, your spiritual leaders, community, family, friendships, and unlimited tools to read online and in books over the decades. 

You can do this.  You are a servant of the Most High God.  As you travel faithfully decade after decade, hear the echoes of your Father and Father-in-Law God desiring to say words your heart longs to hear.

“Well done my good and faithful servant.”