I want to share with you truly a revelation God has given to me as I have been faithfully in the laboratory of marriage and addiction for over three decades, this revelation is taken from an old testament scripture and will show you a sin pattern that God responds to quite strongly again and again. I liken what I am about to share with you as trying to understand the fathers heart. Growing up with your natural father you wanted to know two major things 1) what pleased your father and 2) what displeased your father. The sin of withholding goes back to the book of Genesis. After the first sin in the garden, we see Adam and Eve placed outside the garden.

In Genesis 4: 1-7, we see the story of Cain and Abel. It was Abel who gave God an acceptable offering and Cain who withheld the best from God. Gods reaction to Cain's withholding was, “If you do what is right, will you not be accepted. But if you do not do what is right , sin is crouching at your door.” Cain withheld the best from God which was a reflection of his heart. He felt Gods displeasure, he got angry treated his brother as a disposable object and rationalized plotting and executing killing his brother.

Withholding creates:

 1. A known displeasure from the father

2. An internal struggle (self anger regret a knowledge of knowing you didn’t do right or your best)

3. This manifests in treating those close to us like they have no value or that they are objects that are disposable

4. The desire to harm

5. A willingness to create strategies to intentionally harm

6. A willingness to carry out these strategies

7. That cause death to the other person

 Take a few minutes and  think if there are there areas in your relationship where you are actively withholding or not giving your best or your all?