Pornography is a real killer of marriages today. Addiction to pornography is a huge problem in many families and the church as a whole. The impacts this evil has had on the church is huge. I have seen the total devastation that stems from pornography and inappropriate behaviors. I have written several books on sexual addiction and its impact on the spouse and children.

Some have suggested that 50% of the men in the church are sexually addicted. When I speak at men’s conferences I have them close their eyes and well over 50% will identify with being currently sexually addicted and actively using pornography.

I could fill a room with the tears of good women who never asked, and are now dealing with a damaged marriage and a family at risk. When I asked these wives if they directly asked their husband, they always say no. I understand they didn’t know to ask, but now you know to ask directly.

Men, if you are struggling here, get honest. And the sooner the better. Get accountable and free. Most men and women who struggle with pornography stay sick because they protect the secret. James 5:16 says, “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective”. Scripture says if we confess our sins to one another we can be healed. Confessing just to Jesus gets you forgiven. I John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness”. So confessing to another person gets you healed. You can be forgiven and not healed.

Here are a few other ideas to help protect your marriage from pornography.

• Get a porn blocker on all your computers, phones and other electronic devices.
• You can also add an accountability feature that emails you reports as to each website visited.
• Block or control any cable television.
• Have a same sex accountability partner.
• If addicted, join a local or phone Freedom Group.
• You can also do counseling in person or by phone. We also offer 3 & 5 day intensivesat Heart to Heart Counseling Center.

Pornography is a real killer of marriages today. There is another side effect to someone who struggles with pornography that can also choke a marriage to death. We call it intimacy anorexia and about one third of sexually addicted men and their spouses have this relationship pattern. Intimacy anorexia is the active withholding of spiritual, emotional, and physical intimacy. Note that this disorder is not limited to physical intimacy.

It is very important that we take up the fight against pornography in our marriages. Again, wives must understand they have a role to play in the fight. Ask the questions and protect your marriage. You are not responsible for your spouse’s addiction, but you do have a responsibility to protect your marriage.