When infidelity happens in a relationship, the outcome is far more destructive and painful than anyone expected. In this video, Dr. Doug Weiss joins Carla Shellis on the Really Feminine Podcast to discuss the harsh reality of affairs, betrayal trauma, and the thought process behind the “other woman”/affair partner.
Dr. Weiss explains why female sex addiction is rising in our culture and how past abuse and neglect can push some women to use seduction, fantasy, and sexual behavior as a way to medicate deep internal pain. He also breaks down the severe trauma, confusion, and emotional destruction that cheating brings into a marriage.
In relationships, there are two “operating systems” people live by. The relational system treats people with value, honors commitments, and understands consequences, while the object-based system (common in affairs and addictive behavior) lacks empathy, responsibility, and disregards rules and boundaries. To a faithful spouse, this difference can feel disorienting and devastating.
Affairs rarely happen because someone “fell in love.” It happens because the unfaithful partner is looking for opportunities to meet unmet needs. They never offer 100% of themselves because an affair doesn’t require it.
Affairs are never worth it. They start small, but the damage is runs deep and far-reaching. Still, there is hope. With honesty, accountability, recovery work, and the right therapeutic structure, both men and women can heal from infidelity and rebuild their marriage.
Watch the full interview of Dr. Weiss on the Really Feminine Podcast here: https://youtu.be/vM8oL_Kvw00
To schedule a session with a counselor certified in sexual recovery and betrayal trauma, call 719-278-3708. We offer support groups, recovery materials, and a 3- or 5-day intensive program that provides a lot of personalized counseling over a short period.
Learn more about female sex addiction recovery with the She Has A Secret ebook and the Secret Solutions workbook:
https://www.drdougweiss.com/product/she-has-a-secret-understanding-female-sexual-addiction-ebook/
https://www.drdougweiss.com/product/secret-solutions-ebook/
Check out the Intrigue Addiction video here:
https://www.drdougweiss.com/product/intrigue-addiction-download/
Buy the Forgiveness For Everyone resource here:
https://www.drdougweiss.com/product/forgiveness-for-everyone-book/
https://www.drdougweiss.com/product/forgiveness-for-everyone-video-download/
Read the Final Freedom Book here: https://www.drdougweiss.com/product/sex-addiction-2/
Visit our Partner Betrayal Trauma website for more resources on this topic: https://partnerbetrayaltrauma.org/
For information and resources for sex addiction, check out https://www.sexaddict.com/
Learn more about Intimacy Anorexia, click here: https://intimacyanorexia.com/
To learn more about our counseling services, visit: https://www.drdougweiss.com/relationship-and-addiction-counseling/
For more information about our intensive program to get a lot of help in recovering from Sex Addiction, Partner Betrayal Trauma, or Intimacy Anorexia, visit: https://www.drdougweiss.com/intensives/
Visit the American Association for Sex Addiction Therapy to find a certified therapist and other helpful resources: https://aasat.org/
To sign up for our free weekly newsletter and get information on our helpful resources and services, go to: https://www.drdougweiss.com/#:~:text=SUBSCRIBE%20TO%20OUR%20NEWSLETTER
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0:00 The Fallout of Women in Adultery
1:26 Why Some Women Cheat
2:35 Object vs Relational Operating Systems
3:58 Women Who Seek Married Men
5:14 Married Men Who Cheat
6:47 Seeking Opportunities or Willingness to Cheat
7:19 Most Men Have High Value of Themselves
7:40 Many Women Compare & Belittle Themselves
8:40 Cheating Happens Because of Willingness & Exchange
9:31 The Cheater Isn’t Looking For Love
10:19 Married People Being Targeted
10:27 Real Story of Infidelity
11:23 Get Informed
11:40 Counseling & Disclosure
Infidelity in Marriage (The Truth About Affairs, Betrayal Trauma, and the Road to Healing)
Posted on 05/19/2026