Feeling married and alone can be just as painful and traumatic as discovering infidelity or sex addiction. When a relationship is starved of emotional intimacy, affection, and connection, the loneliness doesn’t just hurt emotionally; it creates real betrayal trauma. Over time, even small interactions with your spouse can become deeply triggering, leaving you confused, angry, or overwhelmed by emotions you don’t fully understand.
Dr. Weiss walks through the most common emotional triggers experienced in lonely marriages and helps spouses understand why they hurt so deeply. Triggers are trauma responses, and while they can cause you to lash out at others, healing is possible. By learning emotional skills, establishing healthy boundaries, and receiving support from a trusted friend or therapist, you can stay grounded and begin to reclaim emotional stability and peace, even if your spouse remains disconnected and insensitive.
If you’re married and alone, know that it’s not your fault. The neglect, emotional distance, and lack of intimacy would have happened regardless. If this conversation resonates with you and you need support in your relationship, reach out to Heart to Heart Counseling Center at 719-278-3708 to book a session with a therapist who understands intimacy anorexia, betrayal trauma, and the deep loneliness of being married and alone.
For accelerated recovery, book a 3-Day or 5-Day Intensive to get a lot of specialized help in a short amount of time.
If you're the partner of an Intimacy Anorexic®, we call that Married and Alone. You can check out the resources Dr. Weiss has created on that subject here:
https://www.drdougweiss.com/product/married-alone-book/
https://www.drdougweiss.com/product/married-alone-video-download/
https://www.drdougweiss.com/product/married-and-alone-set/
Check out the Intimacy Anorexia book or video for insight and guidance on Intimacy Anorexia:
https://www.drdougweiss.com/product/intimacy-anorexia-book/
https://www.drdougweiss.com/product/intimacy-anorexia-video-download/
Read the Emotional Fitness book to learn how to manage your emotions here: https://www.drdougweiss.com/product/emotional-fitness-book/
Read the book Partner Betrayal Trauma for validating statistics and insights on partner betrayal trauma: https://www.drdougweiss.com/product/partner-betrayal-trauma-ebook/
Join the Married & Alone support group for female partners of male Intimacy Anorexics:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/MarriedandAlone/
Join the Married & Alone support group for male partners of female Intimacy Anorexics:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/supportgroupSAIA/
Visit our Partner Betrayal Trauma website for Partner Betrayal resources: https://partnerbetrayaltrauma.org/
For information and resources for sex addiction, check out https://www.sexaddict.com/
Learn more about Intimacy Anorexia, click here: https://intimacyanorexia.com/
To learn more about our counseling services, visit: https://www.drdougweiss.com/relationship-and-addiction-counseling/
For more information about our intensive program to get a lot of help in recovering from Sex Addiction, Partner Betrayal Trauma, or Intimacy Anorexia, visit: https://www.drdougweiss.com/intensives/
To join one of our many support groups, visit the following links:
Phone Groups: https://www.drdougweiss.com/groups/
Free Facebook Groups: https://www.drdougweiss.com/facebook-groups/
Visit the American Association for Sex Addiction Therapy to find a certified therapist and other helpful resources: https://aasat.org/
To sign up for our free weekly newsletter and get information on our helpful resources and services, go to: https://www.drdougweiss.com/#:~:text=SUBSCRIBE%20TO%20OUR%20NEWSLETTER
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Why You’re So Triggered in a Lonely Marriage | Dr. Doug Weiss
Posted on 02/09/2026