I will ask for a letter grade on all 4 promises: A-F
1.Forsaking all (myself included)
2.Love
3.Honor
4.Cherish
Evaluate the Grade if spouse is present. Get them both to grade (often intimacy anorexics give themselves higher grades)
Then discuss the facts of the facts. Do the facts support they are married to themselves or married to their spouse? Believe behavior. Again, this can be a very eye-opening experience.
Taking them down memory lane and reviewing the vows they made can be very enlightening. This is a very helpful tool when working with an intimacy anorexic and their spouse. This can bring restoration, healing, and sometimes acceptance of an intimacy anorexic who is unwilling to change.