Let’s go back to the definition of intimacy anorexia—the active withholding of emotional, spiritual, and sexual intimacy. If things are going along really well and the intimacy anorexic is feeling close to you and feeling like an intimate, emotional, spiritual, or sexual encounter is about to occur (e.g., the children are with grandma and there’s anticipation of real connection or a sexual rendezvous) this could ignite intimacy anorexic withholding behavior or several behaviors. This withholding or pushing away is intentional to cause pain for the spouse, so they won’t want intimacy or even ask to be close to the intimacy anorexic.