When you’re preoccupied with the one you love it’s almost all-consuming. You wonder what they’re doing, thinking, feeling or experiencing while at the same time you’re working, in class, just doing chores or other activities. Then you become preoccupied with past conversations together, hugs, kisses, notes, or things you did together. You go into an almost timeless state reviewing the movie of your relationship and pushing pause to think and feel about this or that moment.
Then there’s the future preoccupation of what you’ll do later today, next week, month, year, and so on. Your preoccupation with the one you love goes into thousands of directions—what they wore, how they smelled, what they did, how they smiled, how they touched you, the activities and people you interacted with together, what you learned about them, how they think and feel, how compatible they are to you, and how they complement you. They’re amazing, wonderful and just thinking of them gives you a warm feeling.
Being preoccupied as a lover doesn’t have to ever end. As a lover spouse you look for the good, find it and ruminate on it constantly. If you stay a lover-spouse, preoccupation stays with you.