Everyone in the real world of relationships knows that pain is part of the relationship process. Emotional intimacy isn’t, “I connect, give myself and receive you if you promise never to hurt me, see or mention my flaws, or disagree with me.” This conditional intimacy and irrational belief for safety in intimacy anorexics will need to be addressed. Withholding emotional intimacy says that regardless of how much of my heart I can access and give to you, I won’t share my emotional or authentic self with you. Sadly, this is a choice. True emotional intimacy, regardless of the skill, says to the spouse, “Here is my heart, flaws and all. I open it as much as I can and behold your heart as well.